泪

滴答滴答

不是钟的声音

是我的泪

一滴一滴的

滴在地上

是我的心在淌血

每当脑海浮现你的脸

我的心就痛得像被几千几一把锋利的刀割

你狠狠地把我的心打碎

我无可奈何

知道无法挽回

却还在留恋

当我在流泪

你在另一边

开心的过

突然觉得好无助

行尸走肉是最好的形容词

什么都不想做

不想理

你的心没有我

我的心把你深深埋在心的最深处

泪还在流

心还在痛

我到底在和你拍拖还是你家人啊

为什么每天什么都会扯到你家人

这样不可以那样不可以

你要我和你家人相处你也要和我家人相处

你每天叫我面对你家人

而你呢？

你却选择逃避

我面对了又怎样？

你有尝试面对吗？

我家人只不过想要你好好对我

有给你什么压力？

每天每天每天都一样

我每天都哭

每天都那么伤心

而你呢？

永远认为是我的错

为什么你可以的我不可以？

你怀疑我我就不会吗！

我忍了很多了！

你每次答应说过的话都变

我不相信你不是我的错

是你自己

此时此刻我觉得我对你已经不重要

因为你答应我的都做不到

就那么小的一件事而已

我习惯了的‘嗯’

你习惯了的东西

你可以说习惯了改不了

我呢？

我想成为你最完美的那个

你要我成为你要的那个

我想读大学是我的梦想

支持我你会怎样？

永远泼我冷水

我的心被你一次又一次的伤

可是我还是很爱你

很爱很爱你

那你呢？

既然你那么多不满意我的地方

要我改变

那我是不是应该也提出来

要你变成我想要的那样？

cOme back to mE

还有几天你就放假了

不知道回来后我们会怎样呢

妈妈说要带你一起去吃日本餐

你应该不肯吧

你都不喜欢我家人

希望我们能快快乐乐的过这五天

然后等你回去后我再想看怎样吧

我尽量令到你满意我

尽量令到自己完美点

不知道到你正式回来那天我们感情会怎样

 i love u no matter what happens

为什么每次都要我忍声吞气

为什么每次都要我迁就

为什么每次都是我的错

为什么每次犯的错误一样时

我是最错的那个

而不是你

为什么每次每次都是这样

为什么只有我不能生气你

为什么每次都这样都是这样

我忍到很辛苦了

你到底明不明白

你现在在那里很开心吧

我在这里很不开心

非常不开心

情绪时常转变

我想分手了

但我并不舍得你

也不想这样

我能忍下来吗

继续这样对我是好是坏

I LOVE U

nothing i can say

going to Sri Bestari for exam on wed

feel a little bit scare

but it's nothing for me

i can hadle it

i think...

------------------------------------------------------

love this song & group recently

我到底怎么了？

最近不知道为什么心情总是很不好

精神很紧张

甚至不敢去学校

在踏进校门的那一刻

我的心总是跳得很快

我到底在怕什么？

他们那些闲言闲语吗？

他们的眼光？

他们所给的压力？

今天鼓起勇气去学校

进到学校我放慢了脚步

我开始深呼吸

一步一步地迈向食堂

（好像很夸张）

p.s. 今天是星期五所以必须去礼堂集合

听到吵杂声我的心突然跳得很快

看到老师我更害怕

坐了下来就盖着我的耳朵

过了不久我忍受不了

我把书拿出来

拼命的画

在这个时候丽丽来了

她第一时间把我的手按着

然后叫我冷静

我根本冷静不到

我开始哭

到我忍无可忍的时候我大声地尖叫

然后冲去班上

丽丽和新妮跟着我

我到班外面就放肆大哭

然后倒地

她们扶我进去课室休息

我依然在哭

班上的马来人回来了

听到他们和老师的声音我又尖叫个不停

我不听的退后

吓坏了丽丽她们

丽丽抱着我叫我冷静

一直安慰我

我不想告诉他们我为什么会这样

我知道哭不能解决这件事情

但我依然选择独自面对

因为我知道所有的问题都必须自己解决

朋友只是我哭诉的地方

回到家我还是一样

那么的安静

那么的呆

我到底怎么了？

for u

미안 해요

이 다치는 건

다 내 잘못

정말 죄송 해요

看着眼前的刀

好想狠狠地割下去

但想到以前那种情形

我没那种勇气了

我只想放声大哭

把一切不开心都哭出来

但我欲哭无泪

想着想着

我的手已经流出红色的液体

my choice?

面对两个爱我的男人

该如何抉择呢？

我不希望失去任何一个

你们都对我很好

可是我怕伤害到你们

可以只做朋友吗？

真的不想失去任何一个

我最珍贵的礼物

我真的不会抉择

最近真的很烦

身体又不好

唉。。。

张卉君 加油啊 ！！！

sarang hae

WOAH !!!

oh yeah ~

yesterday was the last day of competition

i was so excited

got champion on sparring

but i feel disapointed cause my Dui Lian can't get

but it's ok

i'll try to make it more perfect next time for my students

why?

cause next year i'm going to be rafree

my belt is too high and i'm couch so they don't let me join

but it's ok

i don't want to fight with my students anymore

feel so sad to saw them bleeding and crying ><

anyway

my bro get the best rafree

cheer for him ^^

feel so proud for him

and for my students

well done who got medal

and those who didn't get try harder next year

p.s : i got a 4GB nano flash drive on lucky draw

countdown : 52days

busy days

competition is coming soon

almost everday i have not enough sleep

and almost everday we went to couch Su's house to do all those things

but before that i went to BRP to teach

so it's damn busy for me

and also it is damn tired for me

Monday we have to count a lot a lot a lot a lot of money

i think i have counted RM8000++

other than that we have done a lot of things

it is very tired for me

i went home at 3 or 4am

and today i wrap those present and type things

today i'm free cause we came late

haha ~~

but also i have to do things later

the thing i hate most is checking those loooooong name list

i hate it a looooot

you will ask why ?

it is because the sum of the student is 400-500

oops !!!

have to work now

goodbye

and good night

^^

i think i have a long time didn't update my blog dy

not that i'm busy but no mood to blog

these few days i'm very moody

maybe is because i'm giving myself too much stress

or maybe is people around me giving me stress

thank god i still have my hubby

on 5th july i went to see my dear

i went with his family

gosh !!!

i'm scared without reason

maybe it's the first time i get so close to them

but they are very friendly to me

i went to dear's house at about 8am

but we start our "journey" at 9 or 10 i think

why ?

cause we going to eat breakfast first

its took a long long time to reach the place

well

the camp look very malay style

i rather to pay RM400

i can't stay there ==

its hot and noisy because it is near to the air port

when i reach there

i can't even recognize my dear

his face bocome more 'sharp'

... lolx ...

he told me his friends want to see how i look like

but i don't know why

poor dear

he is getting thiner and darker

about 1230 we have to leave cause dear have to work at 1pm

kinda sad to leave him =(

before we went home

his sis brought us to Bum Bu Bali to eat

it is quite nice

then we go to his another sis's salon to exchange car

about 5 something i reach home and going to bed

~ the end ~

saw it from facebook

曾经在某个地方看到一句话，


~“看一个人爱不爱你不是看他平常对你有多好，而是吵架的时候怎么对你”~





当我看到这句话我便时时刻刻记着它。





两个人在交往的时候，

或许你的男朋友在平常并不十分细心体贴或是说些让你开心的话。

或许你的男朋友很温柔很体贴或是把你捧在手心疼。



我觉得那都没关系。

因为在恋爱的时候，没吵架的时候，大家都心情好，自然不会对对方太差。

但是吵架的时候就差很多了。

每个人都在气头上，都有股怒气想爆发……都是一样不满。



可是，真正爱你的人是不会因为生气而去伤害你的。

不管是动手打人或是口出恶言……都不是一个真正爱你的人会做的。

正在吵架或是生气都不是一个可以伤害对方的藉口。

如果够爱你，就舍不得你让你受伤害……不是吗?



曾经看到过一个故事：

“有一个女的，交了一个男朋友，外在条件很好，平常对她更是呵护倍致，专情的不得了，……那时候她觉得他是真的很爱她，从来没有人那么体贴那么温柔，她以为自己真的遇到一个真心爱她的人。可是，只要一吵架，他就变了。他只要一吵架，拼命挂她电话……骂她脏话……当他第一次这样骂她的时候，她整个人呆掉……觉得这是幻觉……后来和好的时候他觉得自己很不应该，一直道歉，她就心软了……但是，后来吵架，他还是故态复萌……同样的重复……她终于看清楚，这个人，不管他平常对她有多好，但是在生气的时候任意的伤害她就足以证明，他并不是真正的爱她。她对他，或许平常的时候淡淡的……但是她知道她对他非常的在意。所以就算在争执，她也没办法骂下去，她不忍，也觉得不该。她觉得她不该伤害一个她爱的人……"



吵架该是一种沟通，不该以伤害为目的。

我们要学习的，就是在吵架中成长，

在吵架中走向和谐、拥有幸福。



我想，如果，现在你的身旁有一个人，是即使吵架也不会伤害你的，愿意让着你的。



请好好珍惜吧！一定要好好珍惜……

因为昨天的事我的心一直忐忑不安

心里的刺令我感到很痛

默默的掉眼泪

默默地擦眼泪

我很讨厌自己

为什么好好的一段感情会这样

为什么为了一件事搞到我行尸走肉

不想上学

不想读书

不想教拳

不想比赛

不想弹琴

任何事情我都不想去做，去理

好累。。。

到底要哭多久

到底要怕多久

现在的我好想窝在你怀里

让你宠让你疼

但你却不在我身边

我真的好累好累

心好痛

今天你打给我时我很开心

可是你却比平时冷漠

但你依然关心我

至少有哄我

也听到我们每次关电话之前的话

老婆 / 老公，我爱你

这代表你原谅我了吗

怡，谢谢你陪我

也谢谢你开导我

也谢谢其他关心我的朋友

不管怎样我依然很爱老公

真的很爱很爱你

countdown : 66 days

argue with dear just now

i cry until my eye become 'swell'

... lolx ...

he scold me until i can't handle

i cry and cry and cry

but in the end he forgive me

today was the worst day in my life

dear say something to me that make me feel so bad

he said...

在我发火的时候只有你不能没有我，我能没有你！

在我很生气的时候我什么都做得出，包括不要你！

whatever he said that really make me feel sad

i will try to forget it

no matter how

i will still love u forever and ever

please don't dumb me

countdown : 67 days

we've been together 8 months

and dear called me in the afternoon today

feel so touched until i cried

and i was wondering

how he call me cause he in NS

he told me he using public phone

and he act so cute

love him so much

chu ♥

countdown : 70days

i miss u a lot

hope time will really fly

countdown : 72 days

long post

14th June

************

went to kepong jusco to watch movie and buy present for dad

me and dear went out often this few weeks cause he going to NS

we watched Karate Kid on that day

it's damn good

i bought a mug for daddy on that day

we went home early cause there have nothing to buy

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

15th June

*************

company dear to hospital to have a body check

i'm glad that he was normal but sad too cause he comfirm need to go to NS

anyway that day i went to Ipoh to meet my cousins

on the way , with dear give me de bear  =)

at 16th , my little bro's b'day we only go to Penang

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

16th - 18th June

*******************

arrived Penang

some pics

Penang Bridge

at Kek Lok Si

the fat one is my cute lil bro ^^

not yet ready ==

first snap

second snap

K. Sern

at night *cari makan*

17th *snake temple*

this is the place where "Little Nyonya" shoot

very big and nice

there has a old piano but the pic was in my mom's camera

daddy~

me~

it is real gold O.O

there are more but i just post some of them

lazy to post others dy

here is me on the old beca and my uncle is 'pulling'

it's dinner time

going home * in the farry*

went to night safari at taiping

but before going we went to the lake

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

19th June

************

 

went to dear's house to help him pack his things

then we went to dear's sis salon to have a hair cut

for sure dear is going to be a BOTAK

gosh his head is soooo ROUND

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

today is a very sad and tired day

about 7 i woke up and go to teach WuDo

dear went to the place they gather around 8 and went off at 9 i think

missed him a lot

i cried for about ten over times

dear keep ask me not to cry but i just can't stop my tears

why i'm crying like this?

love my dear a lot

please god let him come back as early as he could

and please don't let him get hurt

but fat is ok for me

haha~